Free to Love, Free to Heal

This month Chopra Center co-founder and medical director, David Simon, M.D. will be the featured guest on several radio programs, discussing the  Free to Love, Free to Heal book and workshop.

Montel Across America
Thursday, October 8, 8:40 a.m. (PST)
Call in with your questions at (866) 710-6883
http://airamerica.com

Inside Personal Growth
Tuesday, October 13, 1 p.m.
Listen to the interview hosted by Greg Voisin at www.insidepersonalgrowth.com

Conscious Talk
Friday, October 16, 7 a.m. (PST)
During this half-hour program, David Simon will be the featured guest.
http://conscioustalk.net

Dear Dr. Simon,

How can I deal with days when I feel completely empty and passive? I’m usually an active person but there are times when I get stuck and feel I have nothing to do and I hate that feeling. This is a transition period for me because I’m not working . . . I’m waiting to start a new job soon but these days have been boring for me. I wake up and think that I have nothing to do, so I feel like sleeping a bit more . . . then I wake up again and I don’t feel like doing anything. Is it all in my mind? How can I deal with this situation right now?

Thank you and best regards,

Ilda

Dear Ilda,

Nature operates in cycles of rest and activity. In modern society, however, we have the idea that every drop of emptiness needs to be filled, every moment of silence needs to be interrupted, and every period of inactivity needs to be made “productive.” Embracing emptiness is an evolutionary experience. My recommendation for your “down time” is to use it to go deep into your spiritual self. I encourage you to:

― Meditate for two hours each day.

― Go on daily walks in nature.

― Enjoy a daily yoga practice.

― Spend quality time with your family and friends.

― Take a class in painting, music, or any other subject to spark your creative mind.

Once you are back in the rat race, you will probably look back with longing for this period of not having much to do. If you use this time to do what you want instead of what you “have” to do, it will open you up to the grace of life.

With love,
David

Tuesday Morning, September 29, 11:30 AM

Tomorrow morning on Channel 36, L.A., you can see an encore broadcast of Barry Kibrick’s Between the Lines interview with David Simon.  The show will also be available in on the stations’s archives at www.la36.org.

Dear Dr. Simon: I was a happy, bubbly child with a dramatic, overemotional side, which later was identified as mania when I began to have very low moods that I couldn’t get out of. After more than 25 years of treatment, I’m questioning whether the price of the medication that has helped me remove the lows has also been to remove all the highs and passion in my life. I also question whether the medication will keep me from fully following my spiritual path. I know all too well how the body and mind are connected and I’m wondering if the chemical imbalance in the body will keep my mind and spirit from being fully well. Thank you for your advice.

Answer: If you inherited an illness such as muscular dystrophy and there was an effective medical intervention to relieve the symptoms, I would hope that you wouldn’t reject the medication or indulge in too much rumination about why you got the disease since no one can know for sure. I believe that some psychiatric disorders, such as bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, have a core genetic component.

Since the physical symptoms of emotional illness are usually not that obvious, people sometimes believe that they should be able to control their moods without using medication. In my experience, it isn’t an either/or decision. I find that for some people, pharmaceutical intervention combined with a mind-body-spirit approach is required to maintain healthy neurochemistry. Whether or not you’re taking medication need not be the defining criterion of your life. Instead, I’d encourage you to focus on making choices that will bring you the greatest level of wellbeing. By committing to take the following steps, you will able to raise your level of physical and psychological health:

1. Learn and engage in a daily practice of meditation and yoga.
   
2. Eat a healthy diet that includes a variety of colorful fruits and vegetables. Eliminate junk food, refined sugar, and excessive caffeine.
   
3. Develop a regular exercise routine that develops your flexibility, strength, and cardiovascular fitness.
   
4. Follow a daily routine to balance your specific mind-body type, known in ayurveda as your “dosha.”      Learn more about doshas and take the Dosha Quiz here.
   
5. Learn the skills of conscious communication.

As you take these steps toward freedom, your mind and body will begin to move from constriction to expansion. You may also want to consider attending a Perfect Health workshop at the Chopra Center, where you can experience the physical and emotional detoxification process known as panchakarma. You’ll also learn skills and receive support that will help you realize that you are truly a lovable person and deserve to be happy.

With love,
David

To ask Dr. Simon your questions about emotional wellbeing, health, and self-empowerment, please send an email to askdrsimon@freetolove.com

If you are working on the Free to Love release process on your own, here are the instructions for the guided visualization discussed in chapter 7 of the book Free to Love, Free to Heal:

Confession Frees the Heart
If you do not have a partner with whom you feel safe sharing your story, you can employ visualization to achieve a similar benefit. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and envision yourself in a place of safety and natural beauty such as a mountain ridge overlooking a lush valley or a warm tropical beach.

In your sacred place, envision a being of love and compassion sitting beneath a powerful tree of wisdom. Your being may be a religious figure, a wise man or woman, or a celestial being of light.

Just as you would express your story to a human being sitting next to you, confess to this sacred archetype the episodes that caused pain. With your eyes closed, share your story, as if you were with this being in person.

After sharing your story, imagine your inner healer saying these three statements:

I am sorry for the pain you caused.

I’m sure you were doing your best from your level of consciousness at the time.

Assuming you honor your commitment to make amends, you deserve to be forgiven.

After you have told the story, sit alone and quiet your mind through meditation. Now tell the story to yourself for the final time, as honestly as possible. Having forgiven yourself for the acts you’ve committed that caused pain to others, make the decision to forgive others for the pain they have caused you. When you fully recognize that the stories you tell determine the quality of your life, you are free to love.

If  you are working on the Free to Love release process on your own, here are the instructions for carrying out partner process for releasing toxic beliefs, discussed in chapter 6 of the book Free to Love, Free to Heal:

1) I will express to you a trait I have been holding in my heart that reinforces a lack of value.

2) When I reveal this trait to you, I want you to mirror it back to me.

3) I will then repeat the same undesirable quality a second time.

4) You will again mirror it back to me.

5) You will then tell me, “I love you regardless of this quality.”

To understand how this process works, imagine that one of the negative beliefs you’ve identified is that you are a slob. Closing your eyes, consider again for a few moments how that one toxic belief has affected your life. Then, holding hands with your listening partner, look into each other’s eyes, and have the following dialogue:

You say: I am a slob.

Your partner mirrors back: You can be a slob.

You repeat: I can be a slob.

Your partner mirrors back: You can be a slob.

And . . . I love you anyway.

Using this structure, go through each of the seven traits you identified, sharing the quality, receiving the feedback, sharing the quality again, and receiving the feedback and unconditional acceptance from your partner. If after the first round you sense that you still have a residual emotional charge about any of the traits, repeat the process until you completely release the charge for all the negative beliefs. Through this revealing exercise, you will find that the undesirable quality or self-defeating belief loses its hold on you. Through your conscious “owning” of the trait, embarrassment and vulnerability dissipate.

If you are working on the Free to Love release process on your own, here are the instructions for carrying out the physical release ritual discussed in chapter 6 of the book Free to Love, Free to Heal:

The Process
First you will need to find a place in a natural environment near your home where you can be alone and free from distractions. The ideal spot is next to an ocean or on a lake shore. The essential thing is to find an open space where you can be alone with your thoughts and feelings without having to worry about someone observing you.

Sit quietly with your eyes closed for a few minutes. Once you are confident that you have chosen the appropriate space, gather up at least fourteen rocks or stones. These will serve as your releasing vehicles.

Now stand at the edge of the ocean, lake, or meadow with your eyes closed, holding the first rock to your heart. Bring into your awareness the first key word that encapsulates a painful experience. Allow the story to play again in your awareness, while holding the intention to “load” the rock with your painful feelings. This will usually take about ten minutes. The purpose of this step is to separate the emotional charge from the facts of your story.

When you feel the rock is fully “charged,” throw it away from you with all the force you can muster. Scream, shout, or swear at the top of your lungs to support the cathartic release of the emotional toxicity you’ve been carrying.

After you have released the first rock, center yourself in your heart and be present with your emotions. If tears rise to the surface, allow them to flow without resistance. When you feel that you have come back to your center, bring into your awareness the sutra that captures the essence of the second painful experience you have accessed. Hold another rock to your heart and repeat the process, replaying the painful scenario on the screen of your mind while “charging” the rock with your distressing feelings. After about ten minutes of telling yourself the story, heave the rock into the ocean, canyon, or wherever you happen to be, using your body and voice to release.

Continue the ritual until you have processed all seven of your most painful experiences. Most people find that there is diminishing charge as they move down the list. Still, do not short-circuit the process by thinking, Okay, I get it, and then simply tossing away the remaining stones. In order to experience maximum relief, you must perform the whole ritual for each memory, even if it requires stretching beyond your comfort zone. Don’t shortchange yourself! This is your opportunity to claim your emotional freedom.

If you are working on the Free to Love release process on your own, here are the instructions for the guided visualization discussed in chapter 6 of the book Free to Love, Free to Heal:

First take a few minutes to quiet your mind by practicing breathing awareness and meditation. Using your power of imagination, envision yourself in a place of safety and beauty. Perhaps it’s a lush mountain ridge overlooking a verdant valley, a tropical beach with azure water lapping up against white sand, or a natural hot springs in an old-growth forest.

Upon arrival at your sacred place, imagine a powerful tree of wisdom with its roots in the earth and its branches reaching to the sky. Envision a being of love and compassion sitting beneath this tree. It may be a religious figure such as Jesus, Moses, Buddha, or Krishna. It may be a wise old man or woman, or perhaps a celestial being of light. Visualize sitting in the presence of this divine being and allow their serenity to fill your heart.

In the same way that you would express your story to a human being sitting next to you, communicate to this sacred archetypal entity the experiences and episodes that caused you pain. With your eyes closed, share your painful stories, speaking aloud as if you were there with this being in person.

After each story, imagine your inner healer saying these three statements:

Thank you for sharing your story and feelings with me.

I’m sorry for the pain you experienced.

I offer you my love as a balm for your wounded heart.

David Simon will appear on the Emmy Award–winning show “Between the Lines” with Barry Kibrick. Airs this Saturday, Sept. 5, at 8pm on KLCS-TV in Los Angeles. The show will later be available on demand at www.la36.org

Dear Dr. Simon: I’m an emotional mess, and don’t know how to get out of this state. I have been separated/divorced for nine years and have only had one relationship in that time, which lasted nine months. I am very hurt and have alienated people from my life because of my hurt and feelings of betrayal. I have no joy in my life. I work two jobs to make ends meet and feel very lonely, and I have no motivation. I feel lost and don’t know how to change. Thank you for any guidance you can offer.

Answer: Nine years is a long time to nurse a wound. As a doctor, I give you permission to begin healing. It’s natural to feel pain when our needs aren’t met and our boundaries are violated, but life is too short to spend it in anguish. Something has to change, and you’ll find that if you create discipline to change a few aspects of your life, many things will shift. Without knowing more details about your general situation, I can offer you some general recommendations. Here are the top three areas for change that I would encourage you to focus on:

1) Learn and engage in a daily meditation practice. Learn more about meditation here.

2) Begin a daily exercise program that includes training in flexibility, strength, and cardiovascular fitness. The practice of yoga is a powerful way to build strength, flexibility, and balance. You can combine yoga with at least 20 minutes of aerobic exercise (cycling, jogging, or any other activity that raises your heart rate and produces a light layer of perspiration on your body).

3) For 48 hours, make a commitment not to eat any junk food, refined sugar, animal products, and caffeine.

Take one step towards freedom and your mind and body will begin to move from constriction to expansion. You may also want to consider coming to a Free to Love workshop, where you will receive skills and support that will help you remember that you are at essence a lovable person, worthy of a happy life.

With love,
David