Friday, September 11th, 2009
If you are working on the Free to Love release process on your own, here are the instructions for carrying out partner process for releasing toxic beliefs, discussed in chapter 6 of the book Free to Love, Free to Heal:
1) I will express to you a trait I have been holding in my heart that reinforces a lack of value.
2) When I reveal this trait to you, I want you to mirror it back to me.
3) I will then repeat the same undesirable quality a second time.
4) You will again mirror it back to me.
5) You will then tell me, “I love you regardless of this quality.”
To understand how this process works, imagine that one of the negative beliefs you’ve identified is that you are a slob. Closing your eyes, consider again for a few moments how that one toxic belief has affected your life. Then, holding hands with your listening partner, look into each other’s eyes, and have the following dialogue:
You say: I am a slob.
Your partner mirrors back: You can be a slob.
You repeat: I can be a slob.
Your partner mirrors back: You can be a slob.
And . . . I love you anyway.
Using this structure, go through each of the seven traits you identified, sharing the quality, receiving the feedback, sharing the quality again, and receiving the feedback and unconditional acceptance from your partner. If after the first round you sense that you still have a residual emotional charge about any of the traits, repeat the process until you completely release the charge for all the negative beliefs. Through this revealing exercise, you will find that the undesirable quality or self-defeating belief loses its hold on you. Through your conscious “owning” of the trait, embarrassment and vulnerability dissipate.